- my moments with music` ]] ~~

Monday, December 06, 2004

JAsmine posted this in her Friendster today:

Hee this picture is taken during Char's brithday. Eh.. you all the prints scan then put on line lah den I can download. Yesterday go China Black wahh.. Singapore sad story. Actually we cannot go in one cos got some misunderstanding between my friends. We queued for 45 mins when we reach the bouncer haizz... Me and Xin intend to sit and have coffee but then Fang called den we join in the party!! Happening! But Big SHAG ah! Today still have to work... 5/12 (blog got more....)

CHina Black . I felt like giving the bouncer one BIg eye BLACK! "Chai ni Black"
But she is just doing her job I dun blame her.
Toking about Xinhui, well, JAsmine think that seems like I like a big misunderstanding with her.
There 's no misunderstanding. It is concise and clear.

It's a very trivial thing but my friend chosen the childish way to kick the big fuss.
It's about a pair of platform purple flip flop decorated with shining crystal which my brother had bought for me from Bali that end up we 3 galz got out of the Black club.
I mean , for me , the main purpose of going out with my friends despite my busy schedule is to keep in contact with them bcoz I treasure em' all. I don't care where they want to go, as long as I can gather with them and bitch. I prefer sit down at the cafe and take sips of cosy warm high quality coffee or tea. Since they want to club , it's ok with me.

I will never forget how she shrieked and frowned

"WAH LAU!"
" HAte u ! IF I KNOW I WILL NOT ASK U OUT!"
"AND I WILL NOT ASK YOU OUT AGAIN , NEVER! "
"U ALWAYS LIKE THAT!!!!!"
"TAU YEN NI LEI"!!!!!!!!!
(in mandarin)
She snapped agitatedly and HISSES in flame......

I replied " well, it is not my fault that this happen , well , let's get somewhere , the people there is so rude, u see, how the bouncer threatened you not to wear that shoes again....."

(yes , the bouncer is rude and stern-looking although she is a petite-sized lady who wore ah-lian outfit. when she look at people, more like a Ah-lian style"diao" (ah lian like to look at people in their corner or the side of their eyes, dun know y) and she will proceed to analysis your whole body from top to toe from toe to head from left to right from right to left... in her semi-turned head ) Actaully , it remind me of korean actresses in drama and movie who like to give a nasty look with "HA! ..." All korean actresses have this same pattern of expression when they feel angry or out of hand)

"SO? ! IT IS MY FAULT LA!"
"YES!!!! IT IS MY FAULT , MY FAULT ! MY FAULT!"
"OK ? ARE U HAPPY?!"
(cursing in mandarin)
she stared me hard with her blood-sloted eyes and bit her thin lip in anger.

"
I will never forget the way she stared at me and the words she screamed and the "Xiao jie" temper she gave. All at me.
How I cringed.....................
Mind u , this is the infinite times that I have been bearing her temper and her unreasonable.
And how she biasely sided her friends and putting down my friends.
There is a lot of thing going on but I just pretend that I don't see, I don't hear, so that I don't feel.

How will you feel when you are just 1 meter away from a person and had never feel so furthest in connection with that person in your life?

When She said that and It's giving me a shoc..k. I shivered at her uncensored temper that comes out raw and hurting. REally.

This outing is not going anywhere i guess. OK.. it is my fault. Realised that my presence with more words exchange will allow more "misunderstanding" and it will add more salt to the wound, i should volunteer to go home.
" Sori Galz, it think I should go home now. Bye ..." I stooled away. I turned around and she dun bothered to look at me, and gestured and shoved jasmine.
ohh....Did I heard she said " ai la, she wan to go let her go home, let's go , where should we go now? " Folded her arms and frowned angrily.

In that instant moment , I admitted that she had changed... but only in the sense of fashion taste. The taste of friends and other than that , nothing. Her mindset is still like in the past , while we are in NHSS.
My dear friend had not been progressed after 4 years.
I am not angry with her, but I am thinking that , when she will change?

Hence, I sent a msg

"Sori galz, that I had spoilt your nite. It is not intended. It's a trivial thing and I hope that it will not spoilt our friendship... Enjoy yourselves ....."

I rather to be a loser than letting my friend feeling bad.

When we say "Friends Forever..." Does it means forever till tubulence come and tear us apart?
OR is sounds like "Friends for- never"? Is it that when times comes and some friends in our life will deed to walk out of our life? Is there any more blink of hopes to salvage the relationship?
It's becoz they are my sec friends, eight to nine years of bonding till now and they had saw me though the younger days.

Many years of bonding, it will not break that easily as we had gone though many tubulence than any of my later friends!!!! Since, this is the case, I thought they are the ones who understand me the most but the .... actually , in the past few years times, we walked diff pathways, hence diff friends and diff lifestyle (see below red), diff conversation.. Their lifestyle is always happening .. u know , that kinds of limelight style and I apologize for been mountain tortoise and slow in catching up. But, now I rather be myself .
Does god telling me that we should let go something that can drag you down to a wallow of self-pity, self -approaching? Anyway, along the way , I found myself lots of mutual friends that shared the same HEE HO as me...

those days

innocence that's as pure as the whiteness of this square journal board, that dun hide, that dun fear , so unpolluted, no outsiders invading ...nothing
groping R.L Stine books in old Jurong library every sat, our fav hangout
Proudly show our book discovery to each other..
pet shops and exploring more pet shops! pet shop owner shivered at our presence as we will heck into the shop till it closed
Hunting HAmsters and fishes! We love pets !
cooking... grooming....hair tie... plaids ....
boys? We heck care give a darm abt them. We do lesbian!
cried pitifully at our rest in peace or NOT IN PEACE or escaped hamster
hang up lobang in towns after get a tip from huisi ( she's goddness of lobangs da' lobangs , i used to worship her like god )
lobang = pretty shoes , bag, SWeets ,snacks blah blah ( I nv look back till now)
dance , SYF . sweat. laughter. gold medal. assemble . teamspirit. 3 session per week without failing.
songs... oldies to cuties voice like evelyn tan or tracy su
singing...
Books . more books
competing school work, happy competing, peers competing lead to improvements
dance steps , oh those awful dance steps !
bitching like 38
bitching like O ba sai
news .... happening in world
image? Is there image to boost or care about?
endless. More to tell .........................................................

My dear Say Yen (she's a chemist and my shi fu in Nestle R and D) , is in another part of the orchard with her bunch of friends (actually i ask my friends wan to join them but they declined)
know about my agony and sent me this msg :

"No worry la. Your friends maybe just in a fit of anger."
"Trust me. They'll know they're also in the wrong too for treating you like that"

HOW TRUE ! I TOLD MYSELF THAT!
Promptly thanks her and she asked me whether coming out with her next weekend to chat together under high-quality tea and coffee.
"Yes! Sure! " (as her good student (puKe! ) , she ask me lots of time when am i coming back to nestle and I told her that I will come back to nestle to work but I break my promise, to this extend , I am guilty. I have not seen her about 6 months since my last step to nestle)

Just this morning , lynn , my sweet colleague ate a small piece of chocolate and this special little chocolate had a small piece of msg hidden under every wrapper. She passed it to me suddenly and said " Hey siew hui, is this the chocolate u mentioned another day that had small msg attached to it, u see what msg I got? ! "

The msg I saw :

" Friendship sustains all, believes all, hopes for all, bears all." (in English)
"L'amicizia sorregge tutto, crede a tutto, spera tutto, sopporta tutto."(In france)

Is this omen? Such a strange element.. This is a time that I need an answer about a question in doubt and an answer comes in such a way and had cleared my doubt.

I believes. I hope that this ordeal will survive! Will survive!

Anonymous scribbled this at 4:41 AM...